Not Suppose to
by supernerd3333
Summary: Bakura thought that with his deceased mother’s help he could kill the pharaoh, but instead found himself in a quagmire that he couldn’t get out of. BakuraAtemu. Slight AU


Title: Not Suppose to

Author: Supernerd3333

Summary: Bakura thought that with his deceased mother's help he could kill the pharaoh, but instead found himself in a quagmire that he couldn't get out of. Bakura/Atemu. Slight AU

Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh.

Warning: VERY OOC. Bakura sounded like a wimp. YB/YY. Rape, another kind of prostitution. Dark! And I absolutely SUCK at description. Don't say that you haven't been warned.

Historical Background: Yes, this one also has some history in it. Russian queen Catherine slept with all her officials to rule the country. She did a great job, but she has to sacrifice her own body.

_Italic_ part is vision in the mirror.

Flames welcome, except ones for the main pairing. Don't like, don't read.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

I suppose to hate him. I suppose to kill him. I suppose to steal his puzzle and torture him in the shadow. Only I didn't. To this day, I still wait in the darkness, wait for him to come, wait for him to admit the truth. This is my story.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

I was just caught sneaking into the palace. They thought I was just a small thief. I may be only sixteen but I am no mere thief. I didn't go into the palace to steal gold and ruby. I went there to steal the life of a pharaoh. But I'm not complaining that they didn't find out. For if they did, my head would be hanging in the busiest market place to warn future assassins rather than staying on my flayed body right now.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not going to give up. The destruction of your whole village doesn't go away just because you are caught and beaten up. I'll wait for my time, can't be killed before I'm able to seek vengeance. I pulled on my robe and left the cave I usually stay in for the market. A guy has to eat.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

What? The pharaoh is dead? I wondered back to the cave shocked. He can't die. He just CANNOT die like this. Sickness? I suppose to kill him to comfort my village's wronged souls. This is not how this supposes to happen. This is not! He can't die like THAT! How do I suppose to face my village when we finally meet in the underworld?

I punched the cave wall and blood trickled down my fist. Wits slowly returned to me as pain on my hand intensified. Blood! Yes, there's one other person on this earth who has his blood. His son, the new pharaoh. A twisted smile crawled on my face. The victim's son takes revenge on the killer's son. This aught to be interesting. My maniac laugh echoed through the cave.

Then behind me came a feminine sigh. "Is this who you have become?" I shuddered. That voice cannot be human. It's too beautiful, too sorrowful to be human, as if the voice can stir an ocean and the owner's heart can comprise a mountain. It's musical, but I fell like I am listening to death's siren. What can that _voice_ want with me?

I turned back, staring right at a white hooded figure. She seems shocked at seeing me also as she suddenly leans back. The voice came out from the white hood. "You … you are not … but how … unless …"

She seemed to be deep in thought as she bowed her head and ignored me. I took the time to look at the tall, lean figure. What on earth can she possibly want from me, a lowly thief, if anything at all? She did seem shocked seeing me as I her. But why am I sweating? Why, why this … fear? I've never been so afraid, never, except …

"Mother?"

Her head went up abruptly. "What did you just call me?"

"Mother, is that you? Did you come here to tell me to kill that bastard pharaoh's son for you?" I stared at her eagerly. Is that really her?

I felt her gaze on me even though I can't see her eyes, strong, calculative, yet gentle. She turned her head toward the cave opening, standing there like a statue. Then she laughed, a happy, clear laugh. "Call me that again."

"Mother?"

She turned her head back toward me and chuckled again. "I guess you can call me that." Smile was immersed in every word.

I stood there, dumbfounded. After all this time, she finally came back. I rushed over to her and tried to get her hood off, but she stopped me. "Not yet, my son. I came here for a reason."

"To help me kill the new pharaoh?"

"No, I'm here to help, but not in that sense."

"Huh?"

"I'm here to help you know more about the new pharaoh, Atemu."

"Atemu?"

"Yes." She walked to the middle of the cave and raised up her arm. She started to chant in a language I do not understand. Suddenly, a wide circle of pure white light appeared in front of her. I stared in amazement as white waves churned in the circle, lighting up the dark and damp cave.

Then the turbulence stopped. The circle is now like a lake of light on a windless day. She asked me to stand beside her, looking into the light. In the mirror appeared a court room, filled with people wearing flowery robes and expensive jewelry. Then the picture zoomed in, focusing on a crowned male figure sitting on the throne. The throne? Is that the prince, no, pharaoh now? Beside him stood six person, high priests no doubt. I retrained my eyes on the pharaoh, and to my uttermost disgust, the only word I can use to describe him is "Beautiful."

I seriously needed to strain myself from banging my head against the cave wall. What in the seven hells was that? Think that bastard pharaoh is … Ugh. It's unacceptable. I can't … I … I suddenly realized a pair of eyes on me, piercing. Mother turned her head toward me and the gaze made me extremely uneasy. I trained my eyes to the picture in front of me to avoid the stare and try to listen to how they prepare to start the crowning ceremony.

"My son."

"Yes, mother?" I turned my head to her, half expecting her to yell at me for what I just thought.

"I can't stay here for long. After I'm gone, the mirror will keep depicting images of the new pharaoh." She raised her hand and brushed my hair, the touch gentle, sending a shiver into my body. "Take care." Then she turned into an eagle, flying out of the cave and into the night sky.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

I don't know how long I've been staring at the empty sky. Was that really my mother? My mother who sang those beautiful lullabies to me, my mother who starved for me to eat, my mother who sacrificed her own life to protect mine? Did she came down from the sky to see me again, so like a goddess?

I start to walk back to my cave, thinking about her, ready to sleep and for the first time wish for dreams, not the nightmares I kept having of my village, but sweet memories of staying in her arm.

Then I stopped.

Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing? I rushed to the magical mirror. As I approached, the mirror sensed my presence. The image and sound in it clarified.

"_Uncle, please I already understand the lesson." The new pharaoh stated as dignified as he could pinned to the wall in his bedroom._

"_Oh, do you, my dear nephew?" The aggressor pushed himself further against the smaller ones' body. "I think you could use one more lesson."  
_

"_Akunadin, as the pharaoh I order you to stop this right now." Atemu gathered enough courage to bark it out, though fear evident in his eyes._

"_I'm sorry, my little nephew. As you can see from the meeting we just had, not many people are happy that a thirteen years old kid is going to rule our country. You need my support to become a pharaoh, and as a pharaoh you should always remember my lessons. Your body is just a tool for you to rule, not to love. Understand?"_

"_Yes, uncle." Atemu murmured, closing his eyes when stubborn tears fell._

"_Now, now, don't cry." Akunadin used his free hand to wipe away the younger one's tear. "Your father went through the same lessons. Just remember, you body is just a tool. A pharaoh doesn't love." With that, he took off Atemu's kilt._

I stood there frozen, trying to figure out what on earth has just happened.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

I spent the next day watching the pharaoh's activities. At the end of the day, I need to say that I am almost … proud of that kid. Yes, just a kid, but a smart one. He verbal battled with all the opposers, using his intelligence to convince the others that he can be as good a pharaoh as any of them can. Most of them are already one hundred percent behind him at the end, mind the word "most." There was this one really annoying guy who seemed to be bent on being difficult. I almost want to go there and punch him. Why? I don't know, shouldn't I like people who cause trouble for the pharaoh?

Things are going crazy these days. First, I find out that the pharaoh needed to undergo these "lessons," then I seem to be proud of the pharaoh. I'm sure God Seth is laughing up there somewhere. I shook my head, turning my attention back to the mirror.

_Atemu collapsed in his chair apparently tired from the day's activity. He looked around the room, the pharaoh's working chamber. "Guess this is the place where I'll spend a lot of time in." He spoke to himself._

_A guard then entered. "Pharaoh, advisor Noktu is here."_

_Atemu instantly straightened his back and motioned for the said advisor to some in._

"_Long live the pharaoh." The older man knelt._

"_Noktu," Atemu nodded, "is there any reason for you to be here at this hour?"_

"_Yes, my pharaoh. You see, I am terribly sorry for my inappropriate behavior in court session today. I should not have talked back to you like that. You should know that I am worried about our country."_

"_We are all concerned with our country's future and you are very important to our court. Your loyalty is important to me and is noted." Atemu nodded._

"_Thank you my pharaoh. I must say, I am very impressed by your performance today and you appearance certainly pleased more than a few official to your side, something even my influence can't do." Noktu hinted saucily, looking at the pharaoh up and down like precious meat._

"_Oh?" Atemu cocked his head slightly. "Too bad it hasn't affected someone I really want to."_

"_Is that so? Because if that person is here up this close he wouldn't be able to resist."_

"_You really think so?" Atemu brushed the documents off and climbed onto the polished desk. He crawled toward the lustful advisor, splitting his legs as he sat on the center of the table. "What do you think he'll do?"_

"_Oh, I think the first thing he'd like to do is to take that robe to show your creamy little chest." Noktu said as he took of Atemu's robe. "Then he'll run a finger down that little chest and squeeze the little nub." He took the dusky nipple into his mouth as Atemu uttered a throaty moan._

"_What's next?" Yami muttered huskily at Noktu's ear._

"_Oh, I think you know." Noktu took off Atemu's kilt, taking the pharaoh on his desk._

Noktu didn't, but I did notice, while Atemu moaned, his lips constantly moved to form the words, "for Egypt, for Egypt."

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

For the next two years, I watched. I watched him grow, learn, and rule. The country is faring great. The officials are serving the pharaoh loyally. All the treaties with foreign countries always end up with Egypt getting the better deal. Of course, no one knew that these are earned by sacrificing the body of their pharaoh. But I knew. I saw it all. I saw how it started with that damn advisor, then other advisors, the shorter kilt, the ambassadors and kings from other countries. Men and women fell under his charm, worshipped his body, followed his rule. But even they didn't see the tears falling from the pharaoh's eyes when he is finally alone.

I am sickened, abhorred, disgusted by this, but want nothing more than to be a part of this. I don't know what happened to me, or it may be just that I don't want to, that I've actually … I've actually … No, no, I'm not going to say it. That's just stupid. But then what was I doing for those past nights, looking at him having another go with one of his favorite bed mates while touching myself till I reach ecstasy? Why the heartache when I came down from the euphoria? What was I doing staring at him sleeping when he's alone, relaxed and innocent? Why am I here tonight, waiting from him to appear?

I saw him shoved onto the bed, arms pinned, and taken roughly. I watched him matching dirty talks with dirty talks. I want to close my eyes and stuff my ears, but I can't. I especially can't block out the smirk on Atemu's face after it's over, just daring the other to do it again, as if he doesn't care about what the other did, or about himself. He's selling his body like whore on the street, but he's not doing it for the money, instead it's for a nation's peace.

I don't understand. These pharaohs suppose to be selfish bastards who care about nothing but themselves. Why is he sacrificing himself? I don't' understand. I just don't understand now. Two years ago I wouldn't hesitate at all to kill the pharaoh. Then mother has to come in and gives me this mirror things. How would she feel if she knew this would turn her son into too mush a mush to kill the killer?

"Thinking about me?"

I twisted my body immediately and surely, there stood mother in her white hooded robe, voice beautiful as ever. "Mother, you came again."

She chuckled. "What, you don't want me here?"

"No, no, I ..." I stated quickly. To say the truth, I am a bit scared and guilty. I mean, for the last two years I've been watching and fantasizing about the son of her killer. If she ever found out …

"Don't worry, there's no point to be guilty. Scared? Has my voice become that hideous?" Joy immersed in every word.

"Mother, how did you?" I asked wide eyed. She just read my mind. Mother can't possibly know how to read mind!

"That's not important. I just want to ask about what you have learnt about the new pharaoh."

"I … I …" I swear I have never stuttered that much in my entire life.

Mother seemed to find this highly amusing as she chuckled heartily. I can't help but give her a glare, which only amused her more. "You know, it's alright for you to like him."

"What?"

"You like the pharaoh, and I don't object."

"I don't like that bastard. His father killed you guys, don't you remember?" I refuted heatedly, trying everything to convince her, and more importantly myself, that I would rather be eaten alive than to like him.

She only sighed, the kind of sigh parents utter when stubborn child has to do something stupid despite warning. "I believe it's now time for you to see what happened before the slaughter."

The mirror swirled. Atemu's face disappeared from the mirror as another face appeared, a stern one, screaming power from the countenance.

"_What is the situation now?" The powerful figure asked._

"_My pharaoh, war is at our door step. We have to do something." Another man answered._

"_Is the Millennium items the only way?"_

"_Yes."_

_The powerful figure's proud form slouched, a sigh escaped. "I wish there is another way, Akunadin." _

"_Me too, my pharaoh. Me too."_

_Taking a deep breath, the pharaoh stood straight again, power and determination laced through every word. "Give the order, destroy the village to create the items."_

"_Yes, my pharaoh." Akunadin made a move to leave but then stopped. "Brother, are you going to be alright?"_

"_Yes." With voice unwavering, the pharaoh nodded, standing as proud as ever._

"_I'll take my leave." Akunadin bowed and exited the chamber._

_The pharaoh leaned against the wall for support as his brother left. Raising his head, he looked into the sky. "Oh great gods, help me. I can't do this anymore." He then knelt on the floor. "Great falcon god, son of the mighty Osiris and Isis, give me strength to go through this." He lowered his head to the floor. One tear strayed down his face._

I don't know what to think. That I am sure is the bastard that killed my whole family, but I can't call out that uncontrollable hate anymore. As I mused about this, the scene in front of me changed.

"_Why, my pharaoh, why?" A beautiful woman with long black hair knelt at the pharaoh's foot, clenching his robe, tear streaming down. "You can't do this to our child. You can't!"_

"_You are a queen, so behave like one" came the stern reply. "He has to go through with this whether you like it or not. Get up now, get up right now!"_

_The queen obeyed tearfully. In a small voice, she muttered, "please tell me, my pharaoh, why? Why subject him to this kind of humiliation. He is only ten, my pharaoh. Being raped is not the birthday gift I planned to give him." By now she was shouting hysterically. "You went through this too. Don't you pity him the least? Our marriage is loveless. Do you want him to suffer the same fate?"_

"_I have no choice." Pain shone through his eyes. "My grandfather was so into bodily love he almost destroyed Egypt by following every whim of his queen. We cannot possibly afford that again. That's why we have to do this. Nothing, _nothing_ will be more important to us than the safety of Egypt and I have to ensure that."_

"_But Egypt belongs to you; can't you spare your own son?"_

"_Yes, Egypt belongs to me." he bellowed. "But no one has ever said the rest of that sentence. I also belong to Egypt, and so does Atemu."_

The old man didn't know how true the words are for Atemu, and maybe for himself as well. A new scene appeared and I realized that must be the day I barged in the palace to try to kill him.

"_My son, I am not going to live through this night."_

"_No, father, you will, you will!" Atemu clenched his father's hands as if the old pharaoh would disappear once he let go. _

_The old pharaoh smiled weakly. "I'm so glad you've grown to become such a fine young man." He patted Atemu's head as if the other was still three years old. "The last thing I want you to always remember is that …" He struggles for breath as he teaches his son one last time. "That …always put Egypt's need above your own. I have done many horrible things in my life time."_

"_No, father, you didn't. You _worked_ yourself to death, father."_

"_Don't try to fool me, my son." He smiled sadly. "I know what I did better …better than you do, but I have no regret. I did them all for Egypt, even though some of them backfired. Remember, there is no … no what ifs in life. Plan well before you do anything. Don't regret afterwards."_

"_Yes, father." Tear rolled in Atemu's eyes._

"_Don't cry, my little Horus." He patted his son again. "May Ra forever shine on Egypt and you, my dear son." He closed his eyes, a smile lingering on his face._

"It's your decision, my son."

The old pharaoh was right. There is no what ifs in life.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

I stood on his balcony outside his bed chamber, watching him prepare for bed. I am here now and there is no turning back. Stepping into his room, I made myself known.

He turned toward me immediately, eyes wide. I took the opportunity to look at him. He was more stunning in person. Skin glistered under the moon. Those crimson eyes shone brighter than jewels. I was so entranced I almost missed the next question. "Who are you?"

I blinked. How can he not know me? Then realization stroke. I have been watching him for years but he doesn't know me. "I am the Thief King Bakura."

His eyes suddenly widened. "You are the thief king? What are you doing here? How did you pass the guards?" He ordered for an answer with dignity, but watching him for two years taught me that he is scared.

"You call those idiots guards?" I sneered. "If you want to live to adulthood, I suggest you to get some more competent ones."

He narrowed his eyes, obviously thinking why the guy who had been causing all kinds of problems in the tombs giving him tips to live longer. What? Just because I like this guy didn't mean I'm not going to rob tombs of his ancestor.

"I guess I should thank you, but I would venture to say that warning me about my incompetent guards isn't the only reason you came here."

I froze at the question. Yes, I came here to tell him that I like him, but this guy doesn't even know me. Even if he knows me, why on earth would he trust the confession of a tomb robber? I wouldn't even believe myself till a few hours before. I mentally berated myself for not coming here with a plan. The thing I did next would cause me to commit suicide normally, but at that time what I did sound perfectly feasible and reasonable to me. I grabbed him and kissed him.

"So that's why you came?"

I nodded dumbly, brain too numb from the kiss to fully process the meaning of the smirk on his face. When I was pushed to the bed, I gave up on processing it at all.

I don't know how much time have passed as I laid there with him in my arms. I only know that this was the best night in my life. I watched him stirred and snuggled closer to me, finally waking.

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Enjoy what?" He mumbled sleepily with his eyes closed.

"Our love making?"

"We did not make love." He suddenly opened his eyes, sleep completely escaped him, voice colder and more desolate than desert at night. "I do not make love. I only fuck. That's all we did."

"But Atemu …"

"You came for a fuck and you got it, so get out of here now. If you want a go later, make sure you give me some kind of message first, I am not sure if I would be free on the exact day."

"That's not what I want to talk about." I was about to tear my hair out at his indifferent response. "I did not come here for a meaningless fuck. I like you, Atemu. It's not just you body, damn it. It's the way you carry yourself, your intellige … I mean … Oh God, do you need me to spell it out for you … I, I … against my better judgment I allowed myself to ... Give it a chance, will you?" I can't say it. This is way out of character for me. I am cruel. I am heartless and …

"I do not love." He sat up, crimson eyes gazing deeply into mine. "If you came here for that then I am sorry." Something akin to pity shone through his eyes.

"Atemu, you shouldn't let what Akunadin did affect you this much." I instantly bit by tongue. I do not suppose to know that. No one does.

"You knew?" His eyes were wide. He looked like he was going to cry knowing someone had found out about his humiliation. "How … how?"

"I knew, Atemu, but it doesn't matter …"

"Yes it does." He almost screamed. "No one supposes to know it. _No_ one supposes to know it." His voice was bordering hysterical.

I closed my eyes. It pained my heart to see him like this, like a terrified child. I also knew then that we can't be. His heart is closed to others'. I smiled sadly. "Don't worry. No one except me knows about this. No one except me will ever know about this."

His eyes flickered with suspicion. Then relief shone through, he must remembered my half confession from before. "Thank you. You can leave now." With that, he turned his back toward me.

I sighed. Maybe it's just not meant to be. With one last glance, I left his chamber.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

I sat on the damp ground in my cave, staring at the images in the mirror with fists clenched. There he is, being fucked by his little priest. He must knew I was watching somewhere, for he was doing to the priest everything he did with me last night, mocking me, eating me from inside. I closed my eyes. How did it come out so wrong? I supposed to kill him, plain and simple. Where did it go wrong?

"I'm sorry." A voice beside me muttered.

That's where it got wrong. Mother had to barge in and tell me to know the pharaoh better. "Me too" was the only response I gave her.

"You know, I did everything in my power to save him."

I froze. Something is off about that sentence, something terribly off. Everything in her power … to save him. Save _him_. Save Atemu. Not me, _him_. I felt a tremor cursing through my body. I slowly turned my head toward her, voice deadly calm. "Who. Are. You?"

She suddenly lifted his head. "What do you mean?"

"You came here to save _him_, not me. You are not my mother. Who. Are. You?" I looked straight at her.

She sighed, head bowing. "True, I am not you mother. I am actually Atemu's mother."

Anger surged through me. She played me, just like he did. I called on every ounce of my shadow power, ready to send her to the darkest pit of shadow realm, whether she's dead or not. "You scheming piece of shit. You …"

Then right before me, light shot out from her body. Her voice lost the soft and sorrowful quality, instead filled with terrible power. "Foolish mortal! You have no idea who you are speaking to.

I, Isis, am all that hath been that is or shall be,  
I, who made light from my feathers, the wind from my wings,  
No mortal man ever hath me unveiled! - Until now."

My eyes widened. This is the goddess Isis, then that must mean …

"Yes, Atemu is Horus." The terrible light disappeared. Her voice returned once more to its soft state. She took off her hood. Before me is the most beautiful women I've ever seen. Her skin glistered in the dark. Black hair flowed down her back like a water fall. Soulful eyes gazed back at me. Damn, Osiris was a lucky guy, although I would prefer Atemu any day.

"Glad to hear that." She smiled at me.

I was too shocked to fully appreciate how beautiful her smile was. "You can read my mind?"

"Yes, among many other things." Her smile now kind of resembled a smirk.

"Then why can't you help your son yourself? Why do you need to drag me into this mess. I was perfectly fine before you came to my cave. I was going to kill Atemu, rob his father's tomb, desecrate his body with no slightest hint of regret in my heart. Now I'm all messed up!" Anger return to me as I snarled at her.

She sighed deeply. "I'm sorry." Having a goddess apologize to me certainly made my life feel a little bit better. "I was trying to get to the palace to talk to him, but for some reason I ended up here. I guess this is fate. Even the gods are subject to it."

"So you mean to tell me that I am not a part of your plan in the beginning?"

"You are not, but after I thought about it, it makes sense to add you in. Heart is an intricate matter. Even a talk with a goddess may not change it. So I thought I can have you help him, but it didn't work out as planned. I'm sorry."

"I don't regret your decision." That is the truth. Even though I am in shit so deep that I can't escape right now, I don't regret knowing Atemu. I don't regret seeing pieces of the old pharaoh's life.

She looked at me, shocked. "You've grown, Bakura."

"Don't talk to me like I'm a little kid, Miss All Mighty. By the way, why did you sound so happy when I called you mother? I'm sure you are not that deprived."

She shook her head laughing. "Be careful who you are talking to, young one. I can have your life in the blink of an eye. As for the mother thing, I did wish for you to become my son-in-law. Shouldn't you call me mother then?" She raised an eyebrow at me.

I coughed slightly to hide my embarrassment, even though I know it would have no use in front of her. Just as I was trying to find a comeback, the mirror suddenly became turbulent. Waves of light crashed against each other. "What are you doing now?" I accused.

"I am not doing anything. Sometimes the mirror has a mind of its own and can show the past, present, or future." She answered.

In the mirror, I can see retorted images of monsters attacking villages, my soul sealed in the Millennium Ring, Atemu's soul sealed in Millennium Puzzle. Then there came another world, a world with towering buildings and huge metal birds. What I saw next stopped my breath, Atemu and I were together, kissing, in some very weird garments. As the images faded, I looked at Isis with joy, but on her face, there are only sorrow and pain.

"What's wrong? Aren't you glad about the ending?"

"Yes," she smiled weakly. "I am only afraid of the means to reach that ending." She looked at me in the eyes, love and sympathy shone through her eyes. "Take care, my son." She ruffled my hair, a gesture which I usually resented but welcomed now, and walked toward the cave's opening. The last thing I heard her saying was "even the gods are subject to the path fate designated."

I mused on her words as she flied away yet again. At that time I didn't know that is the last time I'll ever see her. Of course I am also have other things to think about, like how the images link together and how will they lead to the ending?

My answer came not long after as Zork made me the offer to destroy the pharaoh. That's how I finally understood the images and Isis's words. I knew what I must do. I did it, and to this day, I don't regret my decision, even though that's why I am in this darkness. I'll wait.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

There, finished. That was rather OOC. Bakura is way, WAY too emotional. Atemu on the other hand is way to emotionless. Oh well, this is fanfic. You know the plot sounds much better when it was still in my head. If anyone wants to redo it, email me and I would love for someone to do more justice to the plot.

Until then, have a nice summer!


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